Your Friends Reflect Who You Are

sept 19
Good friends are the family we choose. I met my best friend over 20 years ago – and our bond is stronger today than it has ever been.

I often joke that Carol was the third wheel in my marriage – but she truly was the glue that kept Marlon and I together during many of our difficult years. Every time I would threaten Marlon with empty divorce promises, I would run to her and she would console me in a way that few would dare to handle. She would remind me that I was the problem and not him. He hasn’t changed she would say, but you have! She was right, I had lost myself in motherhood and completely forgot how to be a wife, how to have fun, how to smile! She would always joke “don’t divorce him, I’m telling you it’s a jungle out here -there is nothing out here.” -meaning good men are hard to find so stay put! And boy…was Marlon ever a good man – but my focus was off because I was looking to fix him instead of looking at myself.

I have learned so many lessons from my younger friend. For one that happiness is a choice. Having lost both parents by the age of 17 and being pregnant at that tender age, I never saw her break, but always saw her smile. She was as strong and optimistic as they come.

In my 20’s when I compared my life to others and would wish for my life to be different, she would remind me that “envying” someone else’s life means wanting every single bit of their life, not just the part of their life that you want to have. It only took one time for her to say this – for me to realize that my life was just fine – thank you very much!

Just like some of you, Carol and I are dealing with very difficult situations in our life right now – and although very different struggles, we recognize that we deal with our trials in very similar ways. No matter what we are going through, our peace cannot be shaken. We were confused for sisters in our youth because we looked so much alike in our appearance; today our looks are quite different, but our souls have an very eerie likeness!

As my mom would say “dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres”

Translation: Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.

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