The saddest day of my life and the lessons learned

kenmar

How does loss feel for me as I enter the two year mark of the saddest day of my life – May 7th; well here are 10 things that I have discovered:

1. Time does not heal all wounds

2. The hole in my heart gets bigger, I cry more, but I also understand that I am getting stronger spiritually, emotionally and mentally.

3. Although I accept my loss, it’s still hard to process all that my children have lost.

4. That when I turn in bed I still can’t help to want to feel his presence

5. That the heart has a memory. When the doorbell rings, or a car alarm chirps outside of my house – my heart sometimes skips a beat – taking me back to when we were a family of 5.

6. That I never want to forget him.

7. That I sometimes need to forget him.

8. That him slapping my butt, his smile when he got home, cooking every night, being an amazing father, surprising the kids and I constantly with the best family adventures, etc. – was his way of saying I LOVE YOU. I always insisted he say the words more – but now I understand he was a man of action and that words held little meaning to him. I now accept and respect his differences.

9. That I should have had more date nights, instead of complaining about all the reasons that we couldn’t.

10. That when we meet again, I will make sure he knows how much I have always loved him. But this time he will know just by looking into my eyes. No words will be required on my part. I too have learned that action speaks so much louder than words.

One Response to “The saddest day of my life and the lessons learned

  • sorry for your loss, continue to cherish the time now with your other loved ones everyday

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