May 17: Children remember Hugs!

avadad

Happy Friday friends! I have to tell you, I had so many thoughts brewing in my head on what I wanted to share today in regard to what has helped my soul. I made my decision, and was ready to deliver my message…AND then….life happened. I sat in the darkness of my room with my laptop emitting my only source of light, but before i could collect my thoughts…I heard cries. The cry was that of tremendous pain, of sorrow and sadness and confusion. The cries were that of my 5 year old.daughter as she repeatedly yelled “I want to be a baby”…..”I want to be a baby”….” I want to be a baby”…..by the time I ran to her room…I thought her nightmare was over,, but this was no nightmare – she was awake and alert sitting on her bed repeating the same thing uncontrollably for at least 15 minutes. The more I hugged her the more she screamed the same request. When I finally was able to calm her down…she whispered. .” I want to be a baby so that my daddy can hold me again.” At that moment my heart broke into a million pieces, and I found myself consoling her, but also yearning for one last hug and one last smile too. For the last 10 days I have celebrated my husband’s life because I have the understanding that he is in a better place; nevertheless when I saw the world through the innocent eyes of my daughter, I felt the pain in my heart so extremely heavy – all I could do was hold her and hug her as we rocked back and forth…both yearning for something we couldnt have. I so desperately wanted to tell her that the pain will get better… but i knew that the right thing to do did not require words. In the days before John-Marlon passed, he was selfless enough.to tell me that I too will need to move on with my life one day. He cried when he described the man he envisioned for me and my children. At that moment of hearing his deepest thoughts, I too felt like a 5 year old wanting to cover my ears and not hear the things he had to say. In time I may be able to move on, in time my little Ava may not be in such pain, but right now neither one of us are ready for those words of encouragement. I have a husband in heaven…can’t really even say the widow word, and my daughter misses her daddy. Sometimes our healing comes in the form of hugs…and truly no words need to be spoken. Daddy’s and Mommies, but especially Daddy’s….hug your children a little tighter today and everyday! They will remember…and they will remember you!

5 Responses to “May 17: Children remember Hugs!

  • My goodness. So hard to hear the thoughts of a little one when you know theres not much comfort you can offer. Huge lump in my throat reading this. May God continue to guide you and your babies through this difficult time and may you all continue to heal and grow through this! As always, you’re all in my heart, thoughts and prayers.

  • Wow Kenia everyday you keep showing us how strong a person can be.

  • My dear friend,

    You’ve heard me say this a million gazillion times you have to start publishing your words. You are inspiring, magnetic, and inspirational. Please write books and share your gift so that it gives back.

  • I continue to say that you should write a book! 🙂 You are amazing and you inspire me! 🙂

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