Joining Me For Meditation

Dec 3

Someone joined me for meditation this morning:) I think we will make this a family affair. I wanted to share – I got this message in my inbox from a h.s. friend after my post last night – “You need to stop being so dramatic you are being way too hard on yourself…there was a reason why he and you found each other and got married and had children, I enjoy like 90% of your posts, all except for when you get down on yourself. You live in the moment which is awesome!!! Don’t ignore, or be ashamed of your past, OWN IT, LOVE IT, learn from it!”

My response is first and foremost to this person is that I am grateful for their honesty, and it is a great reminder that I have to responsible for every post that I press send on because people are looking to me for their dose of positivity, and I am happy to take on that role – I actually love it, so I thank you for caring for me enough to reel me back in to the light.

However, I do want to say this. I OWN my past, embrace it – and I said in last night’s posts, I have no regrets, and would not change it. The pain I felt in my heart last night is not because I am living in my past, but because I have to revisit it – and the “ugly” parts of who I use to be – I’m done with. I am no longer that person, and THE ONLY reason I have to go there is to write about it so that I can share with the world. I am diving into the muck of my life so that I can give to others the lessons that have made me who I am today. If I didn’t feel pain about my growth – I don’t think I would be human. I have transformed overnight – literally went from a lost girl to a woman with vision in a matter of days – that is joyful, but even that much more painful when growth happens so quickly. It’s like I became a billionaire overnight! So my friends, please continue to check me if I drive off course with my posts, but please recognize that I am writing a book and I have to go to places that otherwise I would not visit – I am doing it so that my pain can be someone else’s blessing.

Marlon and I made peace, we ended up being soul mates and we were both able to recognize that this is the way our story was meant to end here on this earth. We had a beautiful life together and lived 100 years together in learning. We were blessed to have found each other. Thank you for the love as always!

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