For the love of parenting!

kids

For the love of parenting – who’s advice do you follow? Unfortunately there is no blue print – and no matter how incredible you think you are doing – someone is bound up to end up in therapy discussing your screw up. I have paid thousands of dollars over the years for advice and guidance by way of seminars, DVDs, coaching – you name it – I’ve done it.

All of the things I have learned have been helpful – but it’s useless when not applied consistently and authentically to your family’s unique needs.

Some believe in spanking, some don’t. In some households yelling is the norm – in others it’s unacceptable. In a society that is so fast over and is feeding so much toxicity to our children – how in the world do we keep our kids well balanced in their own space and in the family structure?

Well..I hardly ever give parenting advice, but this is some good shit right here: (sorry , but not sorry for cursing)

1. Identify your Core Values -Take a piece of paper and write down your core values that matter to you and that you want to see your children instill in their families when they are parents:

My Example:
God, fitness, nutrition, inner peace, finances, family time, community.

So those are my basic core values, HOWEVER- If I only dream of or think of these core values in my head – I am doing ZERO to instill these in my children. AND when we don’t teach them…guess who will? Society!

2. Schedule your core values into your calendar and FOLLOW through.

Using my example from above:
My Example:
God, fitness, nutrition, inner peace, finances, family time, community.

7am – everyone meditates for 10 minutes daily.

6pm- 2x a week kids help prepare a healthy meal.

7pm- Sit down and eat dinner together at least 4x a week. No electronics.

9pm- daily evening prayers as a family and chat about our day.

– Children enrolled in sports or movement every day
– Church ever Sunday
– 1x a month volunteer for a cause
– Allow them to get a feel of how money works and how it is managed.

Also, think of your conflict/resolution strategy. What consequences will your child(ren) having for disobeying you and disrespecting each other. These need to be clear, deliberate and you must follow through and explain why they are being disciplined. A warning is always good (when possible) before delivering a consequence.

Lastly, when thinking of parenting – think of it as a role you are playing, or that you are being video recorded for others to watch your parenting skills. Step outside of your body and watch yourself as a parent. How would you like to see YOU treat your children, how would you like to see yourself look at them. When you are watching yourself- are you looking at them with love and adoration or frustration and anxiety? Are you hugging them enough? Stepping outside of your body will allow you to get a clearer picture of the role you are currently playing.

We will never be perfect, we will always mess up, and we will be thrown for a loop especially in those teenage years – but we must remember that our job as parents is to lay down a strong foundation – to teach them the core values that we honor, to love them, to hug them and to guide them.

And then…we must let them be – and we must set them free. The rest is up to them and God’s divine destiny for their own unique journey.

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