Do You Believe In Angels?


Warning: Long winded post here…but I wrote this one for me so I wouldn’t lose the details, however, I made it public in case someone out there is mending a broken heart or the loss of a loved one and needs to receive this message tonight.

Do you believe in angels? Well, I’m not sure that I did, until Marlon passed away. It’s cemented in my heart that if you have lost someone near and dear – you will feel their spirit when you least expect it, but the key is – that in order to see it, you must be open to receive it.

I had an amazing time dancing my butt off on Saturday, but I didn’t expect to break out crying in between certain songs, well the fact that they played my wedding song didn’t help. Coincidence? Well, maybe. I don’t do the ugly cry these days, and my recovery is pretty quick when I break-down, so few noticed that in between my killin it on the dance floor that my heart was in my throat.

I haven’t gotten any major signs from my husband as of late, but this past weekend he came out in full force and he was not shy about making his presence known.

As we were driving to the club on Saturday night, Angel (my hubby’s best friend) and his wife Kathy shared that Marlon had stopped by to visit them again. Yes, again -his spirit has visited several times. They shared that the day prior while relaxing, their dog sprinted off and started barking frantically; he kept barking upward looking around nervously as if he could see and feel something that no one else could. This same scenario has happened in the past. The dog constantly feels this energy at the foot of a staircase that leads to a guest bedroom. In that bedroom, is the place where Marlon, the kids and I would stay whenever we visited the Poconos. In my getting chills as she shared this story, I asked Kathy if she is afraid when he stops by to visit -and her response was…”I’ve told Marlon that this is his home, as long as he doesn’t speak to me or make himself visible – I’ll be fine.” (see bottom left picture of the bedroom that the dog barks at. A picture of Marlon sits on the nightstand in his memory.

After the party, I was dropped off at my own home in the Poconos. It was almost 2:30am and the kids and my cousins were all fast asleep. I took this time to appreciate some alone time, and just hung out by myself for about an hour. I checked the fireplace to make sure it was off. I then triple checked the locks, because I am that kind of paranoid. An hour after being home, I decided that 3:30am was late enough for this party girl and as I went to turn off the lights to go to bed, I heard the loudest wooosh sound; as I turned my back I could not believe my eyes. The fireplace had a raging fire burning when just an hour earlier I saw with my own eyes it was completely out with no sign of anything even being remotely hot. After spending a long while putting it out – I went to bed perplexed.

The next morning as my cousins and I are having coffee and talking about the miracle of Marlon making his rounds, we wondered if he was the force behind the fireplace mystery since we had initially put it out at 8pm. In that moment, my cousin Awilda had a random thought as she stared out into my outdoor breakfast nook – “when you bought this house did that patio thermometer with the cardinal come with it?” I responded by saying “yes, can you believe it”? For those of you that have followed our journey – you know that a cardinal has blessed us with its presence time and time again since Marlon passed.

Within seconds after Awilda shared this, my cousin Melissa said “I think a bird flew in.” As we walked over to take a closer look, there was in fact a blue jay flying in my outdoor breakfast nook. We got to take a quick picture of it and let the kids appreciate the beauty of this bird, before we opened the door and allowed it to fly to freedom.

As the blue jay flew away, I smiled knowing this was my angel’s doing. Before I could absorb this moment, I was stopped in my tracks to notice that by the door where the blue-jay flew out from– was an ornament of what else…a blue jay. It looked eerily familiar to the picture we took of the bird before we set it free. My eyes then widened to notice that the patio thermometer that my cousin had just mentioned minutes prior, not only has a cardinal on it, but it too had a blue jay on it. (picture of ornament, actual bird and in top row)

In case you were wondering what a blue-jay represents – ”The jay is fearless when it comes to protecting its partner, young and territory. They also keep the same mate for life, which is symbolic of endurance, patience and loyalty. The jay is an excellent symbol for those wishing to honor their long-lasting bond between friends, family and lovers.” I may no longer get flowers, sweet kisses and whispers or that embrace that I so desperately crave, but I am comforted by knowing that we are not forgotten.

The moments we spend resisting the death of a loved one, are the very moments that we miss to feel, see, hear, smell and experience the love that still exists even after they are long gone. I choose not to waste too much time in the past because this moment, and now this moment and the one that is about to arrive right now, can never be recovered, and that to me is the difference between healing through the pain, and healing by way of joy.

God bless you all!

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