What’s going on in your bedroom?

bedroom

Is sleep being affected by what is going in your bedroom? At some point in your relationship some of us may have felt as if we were sleeping with the enemy – where communication is scarce, hugs are far and few and a loving glance was last seen in a far, far away land. It’s pretty sad to think that this is what’s happening behind closed doors – but with a divorce rate of 60% in America, this tale is all but true.

Here are three simple things to consider about the state of your relationship:

1- Do you still make-out with your spouse? Do you experience gentle yet passionate make-out sessions just because? If you haven’t in a while – then go for it! This simple yet very intimate connection may just re-ignite some beautiful chemistry that may have been lost somewhere along the way of mortgage talk and playing taxi driver to the kids.

2- Do you hold back sex from your spouse as collateral? If you do, I can tell you first hand that this is a big no-no in a relationship, and can back-fire terribly in a way that can destroy a marriage beyond repair. Holding back sex is another way of crying out for attention. Instead of using sex as a weapon, use this opportunity to understand what the void or problem is and address it head on. The better the communication, the better the intimacy. If you feel that your spouse is bad at communicating then help him/her through it without attacking his/her integrity. Remaining in a problematic marriage with no resolution is poison to the soul. If you desire a successful marriage – then leave no stone unturned, but do not remain in a vicious cycle that turns you and your spouse into combative roommates who remain together for the sake of sharing bills. You will lose your spouse, and lose yourself.

Here are a few suggestions to shift things in your relationship:
a) Find a trusting marriage counselor
b) Get connected with a church or worship center that helps you grow closer together
c) Read the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman (and read it together)

3- How does your spouse feel when he/she is around you. If you respond “crappy” – then how much longer do you expect your spouse to hang around with no consequences to your marriage? I hope you never have to answer that. Make your spouse LOVE to be around you and your energy. A dangerous thing that can happen to a marriage is when a spouse prefers to spend more time outside of the home because they feel better about themselves apart from their spouse.

If you are taking your marriage for granted, then stop this very second. Begin to take responsibility for the part you play and what you bring into the relationship. Work on your marriage just as much as you do in all other areas of your life. Don’t take love for granted- because one day you may just be begging to turn back the clock. I’ve been there, I know.

4 Responses to “What’s going on in your bedroom?

  • Great post… as always.
    Thanks Kenia

  • Such an insightful, practical and faith-filled post. Thank you Kenia, running to the other room for a make out session with my husband

    • Egli! This has filled my heart with so much joy. I hope it was the teenage kind of make-out session. haha! With so much love and admiration, Kenia! xoxo

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