Courage To Renovate

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Until I was 24 years old I lived at home, and when I left, I moved in with my boyfriend who I ended up marrying. My boyfriend happened to have a furniture store…and subsequently for the next 15 years would furnish and decorate our home according to his style. I was grateful of course but I was oblivious to what I liked. In looking back that was probably the first indication that I lacked passion in my life. I was indifferent on anything having to do with our home – that is…until Marlon passed away, I felt like a stranger in my own home. I looked around and nothing represented me and I actually felt suffocated in my own home. The energy in my safe haven reminded me of the tragedy we survived. I made the difficult decision to invest in my own home and renovate. I have thrown out the old and in doing so shockingly the memories did not go with it. With my new fresh space I feel his presence more than ever. I feel complete peace and I am proud that at 39 I am finding my voice in all aspects of my life. Tonight I will have a little vino and toss a coin for either The Notebook or The Birdcage. Cry or laugh? Hmmm….

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