ANGER Management

When we project our anger, our hurt, our pain, our disappointment, our resentment, our bull$hit onto other people we are not finding the root of our pain, but instead we are temporarily dumping our load onto someone else. It feels pretty awesome to dump on someone else, because you’re able to free yourself from having to look into the mirror and owning up to the responsibility that you have choices. The blame game is so easy and sometimes so much fun! Having to make a choice in a heated situation would mean that you would have to be logical, and emotions don’t like logic. However, once we realize that our behavior is unacceptable, the guilt begins to set in, and we the “victim” have now become the “predator”.

We cannot control someone else’s actions, but we can control our reaction to it. If your husband hangs out one too many times during the week, or your children wild out at a supermarket, why should this disturb our inner peace? It really shouldn’t, but it does because we are living in the past, instead of the present. We know full well how this situation made us feel in the past, so we are going to lash out with current and past emotions all intertwined into one big emotional mess. How would we treat “those kids” if they weren’t our own? How would we treat our boss’ kids in this situation? A little kinder I imagine. How would you treat your husband if you were being recorded on a reality show and he walked in late from a night of hanging out? You would probably ask the crazy girl to hide in the closet as the better version of you kindly explained how this type of behavior hurts your feelings.

We should not be doormats by any means, but we should attempt to treat each situation with a clean slate. We will not only preserve our loved ones dignity, but our own, and best of all we will be improving as human beings and not regressing into child like behavior that only causes us long term pain and suffering.

As for me….work in progress, but I work on it every single day! Actually every single moment.

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