A Family’s Surrender

Today one year ago today (April 30th) I had to tell this beautiful man that he was dying and that we had to surrender as a family. It’s the same day I had to tell my children that within days they would no longer have a father. It was one of the hardest days of my life. Blood transfusions were no longer working, the doctors had given up 5 months prior, he had stopped eating and although there was so much fight in his soul, his body told me otherwise. I made the painful decision to place him in Hospice. As the ambulance pulled up to my driveway my heart sank knowing he would never return home. I can’t explain that feeling. As we rode to the hospital he smiled and touched my hand as he lay strapped to a bed and I chest strapped to my seat. There were little words exchanged, but peace surrounded our every breath.

He lived another 7 days. He passed away on May 7th 2013 at 39 years old. This video was our last family vacation in August, 2011. Within weeks of returning from vacation this vibrant man began to experience night sweats and a hacking cough…we blinked and within a few months he had Stage IV Cancer. We gave it all we had – we loved harder in those final months than we could have in a lifetime, and we discovered the true power of surrendering. We were chosen for this mission, and every day I try to understand what role, what purpose God wants me to take in this new life I travel.

I accept my life, and I thank God for his mercy in allowing my angel to speak to me and my children in ways that make me a believer that we shall meet again.

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